Of cars and craziness

I have decided that Prius drivers are the new BMW drivers - but what makes them worse is not only do they not seem to have indicators and like to undertake, they also seem to have a holier than thou attitude because they are doing their "bit" for the environment. I wonder what else they've done? Of course it annoys me even more that they don't have to pay congestion charge.

(brief interlude as I panic as I think I forgot to pay mine yesterday and go off to check)

I had forgotten to pay. Luckily remembered before the barstwards could fine me. Am coveting a cute Fiat 500 - they are v popular but ideal for driving around the narrow streets of London and much easier to park. I do love our Audi, but would love to be able to parallel park in smaller spaces.

Have been really busy at work - the early mornings and late nights are tough (and are going to be harder as I start to have 6 am clients but have jiggled my hours and will have wednesdays off. Of course some of those are going to be absorbed by the adoption workshops. The first one is next week and I'm quite nervous about it as it's really looking into if adoption is the right thing for you and talking about dealing with your fertility. I think I am pretty much over it but it will be hard to go through the process of talking about it again.

But after that, assuming everything is ok, the next lot sound really interesting - talking about different children and scenarios and challenges that we might face. Of course the annoying thinig is, that it clashes with my pilates training and so march is going to be a tough month, trying to be in several places at once. It's all a bit overwhelming but we will manage. I guess we just have to be a little more organised!

Wanted to add a shout out for my friend's shop www.quirkyboutique.com  - some lovely lovely tattoo inspired cards and jewellery and other fun things, arrives beautifully presented.

Z

Chicken and mushroom Risotto for 2

The lovely Wendy asked me to post my recipe, so I will!

Ingredients

1 tsp olive oil
1 large onion chopped
2 cloves of garlic
250 g mushrooms (the brown ones)
75g aborio rice
200 g cooked chicken (left over from roast!)
1/2 tsp dried thyme
125 ml white wine
hot chicken stock (around 750 ml)
grated parmesan (about 20 g)

Sweat the onion and garlic in the oil and add the mushrooms, cook until the mushrooms start to soften. Add rice and stir until the rice starts to glisten. Add the chicken, thyme and wine and stir until wine is absorbed. Keep adding stock and stirring until the rice is al dente. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Add half the parmesan. Serve with a green salad, and top with the remaining parmesan and ground black pepper.

Cervical Cancer Prevention Week 24th - 30th January 2010

http://www.jotrust.co.uk/

Butter or Marg?

There was a debate on the Motley Fool website about butter, if value butter was any good and if butter was better etc etc I was reminded of this poem - I used to love AA Milne's poems, still do really!

The King's Breakfast
The King asked
The Queen, and
The Queen asked
The Dairymaid:
"Could we have some butter for
The Royal slice of bread?"
The Queen asked the Dairymaid,
The Dairymaid
Said, "Certainly,
I'll go and tell the cow
Now
Before she goes to bed."

The Dairymaid
She curtsied,
And went and told
The Alderney:
"Don't forget the butter for
The Royal slice of bread."
The Alderney
Said sleepily:
"You'd better tell
His Majesty
That many people nowadays
Like marmalade
Instead."

The Dairymaid
Said, "Fancy!"
And went to
Her Majesty.
She curtsied to the Queen, and
She turned a little red:
"Excuse me,
Your Majesty,
For taking of
The liberty,
But marmalade is tasty, if
It's very
Thickly
Spread."

The Queen said
"Oh!:
And went to
His Majesty:
"Talking of the butter for
The royal slice of bread,
Many people
Think that
Marmalade
Is nicer.
Would you like to try a little
Marmalade
Instead?"

The King said,
"Bother!"
And then he said,
"Oh, deary me!"
The King sobbed, "Oh, deary me!"
And went back to bed.
"Nobody,"
He whimpered,
"Could call me
A fussy man;
I only want
A little bit
Of butter for
My bread!"

The Queen said,
"There, there!"
And went to
The Dairymaid.
The Dairymaid
Said, "There, there!"
And went to the shed.
The cow said,
"There, there!
I didn't really
Mean it;
Here's milk for his porringer,
And butter for his bread."

The Queen took
The butter
And brought it to
His Majesty;
The King said,
"Butter, eh?"
And bounced out of bed.
"Nobody," he said,
As he kissed her
Tenderly,
"Nobody," he said,
As he slid down the banisters,
"Nobody,
My darling,
Could call me
A fussy man -
BUT
I do like a little bit of butter to my bread!"

Alan Alexander Milne

Roast pepper and tomato soup

Made this tonight - perfect winter weather food. Diet friendly, delicious and easy. Adapted from an Asda recipe.

• 900g Tomatoes, halved
• 2 red peppers, quartered and de-seeded
• 1 medium red onion, finely sliced
• 2 garlic cloves
• 2tbsp olive oil 
• 1 stock cube (veggie or chicken)
• 1tbsp Sweet Chilli Sauce
• 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
• 4tbsp creme fraiche

Method

Preheat the oven to 200C/180CFan/Gas 5. Put the tomatoes, peppers, onion and garlic cloves in a roasting tin and drizzle over the olive oil. Toss the vegetables so that they're well coated. Cook in the oven for 50 minutes, turning the vegetables half way through.

Dissolve the stock cube in 500ml of hot water. Puree the roasted vegetables with the stock in a blender or food processor (you may need to do this in two batches), then pass it through a sieve if you prefer the soup without the tomato seeds and tiny flecks of skin

Pour the soup into a pan, add the sweet chilli sauce and Worcestershire sauces and reheat gently. Serve with a swirl of creme fraiche.

Snowed in again

Well wasn't expecting this much snow again. Apparently nor were the council who managed to not grit ANY of the main roads. I realised I wasn't going to make it in by 7.30 and called my colleague who was in with an early client - she agreed to take my client (who apparently didn't show up anyway). Attempted to make it in for my 9.30 but scared myself when driving in so stopped, turned around and drove home. A 20 minute round trip took over an hour.

Most people were driving really sensibly, especially the lorry driver behind me who was keeping a 100 yard distance. Apart from a couple of UTTER numpties - like the German woman in a mini who pushed in and cut me up and thought it was funny. She had a child in the back. Did she not realise that the reason everyone was driving slowly was because it was DANGEROUS? Idiot. It's just not worth risking your life or someone else's?

Any way home and safe now. Was amused by this - cheered me up anyway!

Argh - frustrations abound.

The snow still is hanging around and is starting to get annoying now. I'm over it. Am am very glad that we invested in a wood burning stove - it's making a big difference to our winters. And contrary to popular opinion, it's not a bad thing to have one either. There are enviormental benefits - we are using less gas as the thermostat is lower and we are keeping our main room very toasty; even though our area is a smoke control area, the stove is so efficient and clean it's fine for us to use, we use seasoned wood which burns more efficiently and most wood you get here is from sustainable sources.

Yes you do have a bit of work to do (well Matt does in our case) in keeping it clean, but it's not much as there's very little ash. And you do have to keep an eye on it - but that's fire. There's very little better on a horrible cold winter's day than lighting a fire and cuddling up with the cats.

And this morning I'm doing invoices - very boring but at least I get paid at the end! Need to do my tax return this week, which is more boring and does not involve payment at the end. Some times it's depressing being grown up!

I got a bit pissed off last week having been so pleased about the MacMillian report (see last post) I posted it on Jo's and promptly got told by another poster that I might be scaring people who might then not take treatment. You know, it's really really important that we talk about these things. When I had treatment I made sure that I was well researched and knew my options, BUT there's very little known or published about radiotherapy side effects.

I know a few people who have had cancer and are dealing with side effects, or recurrances and need to talk about these issues and I know that as an organisation Jo's is really supportive of that. It was set up as a support for people dealing with cancer. Sometimes, because of the Jade thing, it seems like the focus is on CIN, but we should not be afraid of talking about cancer related issues. WE HAVE TO, it's so so important. Ultimately I'd rather people make informed choices than get half truths, and in the end to have or not have treatment is a personal decision.

The fact is that cancer is terrifying, but if you have a diagnosis of CIN you've not got cancer and frankly it's easily treatable. When we talk about what has happened to us POST cancer it should never ever be an excuse not to have treatment. And I think that those who are going through the cancer treatment should also have honesty about what might happen afterwards. I think sometimes these things are glossed over by the consultants because really they want to get us well.

When we saw Dr Andreyev talk at the Let's Meet it was very informative - he has a huge waiting list of people who have had pelvic radiation and need after care on bowel damage. He's only one of FOUR in the world (I sound like Jeremy Clarkson) who specialise in this. I think that's dreadful. So for me to see this article was a celebration. And I know that Dr Andreyev is very frustrated that the oncologists work so hard to save our lives but forget about what happens afterwards. (as an aside I know of men who have had prostrate cancer and have had major problems with this)

In the end treatment is about working so hard to save lives and it's incredibly important to have that in perspective. I am so glad that I'm still here and am very very mindful of those of us who are not. I absolutely refuse to stop talking about the fact that cancer can kill and that being a survivor is a wonderful wonderful thing but it also brings heartache and other issues that are hard to talk about with people who have not been through it. And I'm not, absolutely not, going to stop talking about those things.

2010

Who knew that we'd start this year with snow? It seems fitting for a new decade to start so pristinely white. But of course it's chaos and dirty ice so soon and the novelty is fading fast. And it's damn cold for the UK in January.

Funny to think that I saw the millenium in Sydney's summer and how much has happened since then.

In those days I was living in Sydney and had been working in the internet/advertising/business consultancy world. I had been very happy in the small consultancy I was in but we'd been bought out by a large advertising agency and it got horribly political with some nasty people pushing me out. I was freelancing and when at a wedding in the UK heard about another job, applied and after some weird interviews (phone and flying back for a weekend) came back to London as Managing Editor for an internet portal.

Loved the job - had some "interesting" experiences when my bosses decided to allow porn on it!

The 9/11 happened and the owners used that as an excuse to make us all redundant. Since then I retrained, became a manager of an online mail order company, got made redundant, and a day later got another, similar job.

While all that was going on I made new friends and Matt, bought a house, got married and adopted Blue and Berry. And then, of course my cancer diagnosis and the start of this blog.

This decade sees me start my next round of pilates training. My boss is pregnant so I will be taking on a lot more when she goes on maternity leave. And we are moving ahead with the adoption process and start prep workshops next month.

My goals are pretty short term on the whole - to get through all of that in one piece. We hope to go to Aus to see Col in early 2011 and hopefully be approved for adoption by then. Those outcomes will effect the rest of the decade hugely. It's all positive and I am looking forward to the next decade with Matt.

We've overcome so much together and while I know we've many more challenges ahead, I think we get through it all!

As an as aside I was very pleased that MacMillian has highlighted the issues that we face post cancer and the lack of support that we get. Oncologists do a great job in saving lives but without much thought to what happens afterwards and while I am so grateful to the job they do I do wish that there was more support for radiotherapy damage. I don't think that things will ever be the same.

Z x

Meme

So my friend who is known as Rosamundi in the blogging world has nominated me as a gorgeous person. Which is very flattering. This means that I am to list six things relating to myself that are generally unknown, and mention six blogs or bloggers I consider gorgeous.

First things first:
1. I hate melon. It's an odd thing to hate but I don't like the smell and that effects the taste. Makes me feel sick.
2. I have lost 2 stone. It's a slow slow process but worth it.
3. I can't digest fibre anymore. Radiotherapy damage means that I have to really be careful what I eat otherwise I can be unwell for days. Usually it's things like beans and pulses or whole meal bread, but can be seeds and nuts and other random foods. The last weekend was bad and I have NO clue what it was that triggered it. So I've had to ditch the diet, eat bland stodgy food and I'm feeling better today.
4. I love trashy TV - like things like Next Top Model, Strictly (ok most people know about that one), Dancing with the Stars and so on. But I hate Big Brother. (Gino to win I'm a Celeb. We luuuuuuurve him!)
5. I lived in Brazil as a child and it deeply effected the way I think about life - everything from poverty to politics. If we adopt I'd really like to do that with our children - take them to experience life in a country where there even greater differences than here. I appreciate life in the UK a lot more having seen such poverty first hand. And yet in countries like Brazil and India there is such vibrancy and life and warmth from the people. It's very humbling.
6. I read really quickly. So when I go on holiday for two weeks I have to take at least 3 books and make sure that there are back ups.

Ok so for gorgeous blogs: Well there's Miranda in the US, the beautiful Jess in the Jungle who is someone I met through Jo's and is very special. Tracey who never fails to make me laugh. Bluesoup who thinks too much. And actually that's all. I can't be arsed to think of two more at the moment. Because actually these 4 are all people who I have a lot of time for but don't see often for whatever reason.

Z
PS got a new client today. Am thrilled.

Slow cooker pot roast

I've never been a fan of pot roast until now – this is incredibly easy and delicious.

Brisket in beer with horseradish dumplings - slow cooker

For the Brisket

• 1 kg brisket off the bone
• 2 celery stalks – chopped
• 2/3 carrots – chopped
• 100g mushrooms (quartered)
• 1 tbs tomato puree
• 1 tbs flour
• 1 can ale or bitter
• Slug of Worcester sauce

For the dumplings:

• 150g self raising flour
• 150 grams suet (I use veggie)
• 4 tsp grated horseradish – you can use fresh or creamed
• water

Cooking time: 8 hours minimum

Place veggies, flour, tomato puree into the slow cooker. Pour over the beer and add the Worcester sauce, Stir well. Place brisket on top, so it's partially covered by the liquid. Cook on High for at least 6 hours. Taste and season if necessary.

Then make the dumplings by mixing all the ingredients with some water to make a dough and form into dumplings. Place around the beef and cook for another 2 hours.

Remove dumplings carefully, then take out the beef and slice (will fall apart). Serve with mashed potato and the veggies spooned over and a glass of red wine!

Medical and other things

So I had my medical last week. Strange seeing the doc bring out my notes from when I was a baby onwards. She seems to be happy with my health and has said that she thinks I'm fit to raise a child. Hurrah.

Was a long long form to fill in though - and like most forms had lots of space for totally irrelevant things and very little for the important stuff. You had to say things like if you've ever smoked and taken drugs. One of those things that is odd, because yes I've done both but not very much and are you honest and say yes even though it was a case of a couple of fags when I was a teenager and the occasional spliff in my 20s, or do you just lie by ommission. I opted for the former and was honest, I don't like lying and don't want it to bite me on the bum.

Or will it stand against me? I don't know. It's all very confusing. But I think honesty is the best policy, no one's perfect.

In other news had a lovely journalist come to talk to me about blogging today.

Z

Winter is coming

I know this because I am sat with the TV on and there's football on. It's a boring game. There's moggie mayhem going on somewhere in the house judging by the sound of bells jingling and the occasional thump and then small, yet heavy footsteps charging about.

It was a frustrating day at work - went in at 7.30am to discover that my client was sick and had cancelled and then my free induction did not turn up. But will be a better day tomorrow - quite busy with a mixture of classes and 1-1s. And then hopefully some people will turn up for an induction that I'm running in the evening - might mean that we get some more clients at the Kew studio.

Trying not to feel too over whelmed with my schedule next week - I think it will be ok, but hectic.

Spent what seemed like a life time (but really only a couple of hours) queuing to get a visa for India only to be told that I have to go back another day to pick it up. Frustrating but par for the course really. Was able to go home and watching Dancing with the Stars with Berry and the ironing. Given that the ironing pile was starting to resemble Everest (due to the case of the missing cleaner*), this was no bad thing.

Diwali party at Corky's on the weekend. A last minute thing (Matt whinged that we'll be having a busy weekend again) but it will be fun. Fireworks, food and friends - all to get us in the mood for India. Fab!

Medical for the adoption on Friday... eek.

Z x

* our cleaner, Ania, is very sweet, very young and Polish. She does a good job with huge enthusiasm (some times a bit too thorough like when we got back from holiday and she'd put almost everything through the washing machine; if the cats had been around they would have been cleaned too). Any way she went to Poland to start planning her wedding (date for 2012) for two weeks. Four weeks later and no sign or reply to texts. I finally got through to her sister as I was getting worried (Matt was worried that she had our keys and alarm code, I was worried for her safety).  Anyway, she's finally back and ok. It's good as it will be hard to keep on top of things next week. Though we've survived remarkably well.

4 years ago...

I was diagnosed with cancer and I was talking to some people yesterday and one of them said to me that I've come so far. I am pretty proud of that.

I was reminded today that I haven't blogged in a while. It's been a hectic year as I'm working at Boomerang Pilates a lot - has been mad but a lot of fun. It's now two studios and I'm starting to work more at the Kew one as it's so much easier to get to.

We have started the adoption process. It's taken a while to get to the stage where things are moving forward. It's been a frustrating process just starting. BUT we've found a council who we feel comfortable with, who don't talk down to us or refuse because they are not taking white adopters, and who we feel comfortable about coming into our home and being intrusive. I do feel that there's something not quite right about the situation where there are councils saying that they are desperate for adopters, yet put people off from the word go. A little humility and kindness would go a long way I think.

So we had our home visit and the SW was terrific. We both have to have early medicals - arranged for the next couple of weeks - mine because of the cancer and Matt's because he's Type 1 Diabetic. And hopefully if that's all ok then we'll go on the preparation workshops next year.

Work's getting manic, my boss is away next week and I am covering her work - her schedule is crazy! Still will be good to earn some extra cash before we head to India in November.

In other news we have started karate and had our first grading yesterday - us and the little kids. It felt like an amazing achievement though. Will post some pics soon.

Z

It's Christmas - where did the year go?

This year went so fast and so much happened that Matt and I barely had time to draw breath.

He DID finish the marathon - and thanks you all for your love and support. He was supposed write a note here but never got around to it. Needless to say I was incredibly proud and it was a funny moment when, just before the finish line I squeezed my way to the front of the crowd where two nice, burly blokes let me stand and shout "I LOVE YOU MATT!!" as he passed - and they both joined in shouting "WE LOVE YOU MATT" as well.

After that we concentrated on getting back to normal (huh!) and I worked hard for my exam - a series of events leading up to it (including a trip tp A&E) meant that I was very nervous and stressed and although I passed my teaching component, I failed the theory. The good news is that I retook it a few weeks ago and I'm now a Stott certified Mat and Reformer instructor.

We had a quick holiday in Barcelona which was wonderful but too short and then home to the maddess of planning a wedding at short notice. Not ours of course but Jayne and Joss finally tied the knot after 15 years - it was a wonderful time and lots of fun and love and laughter marked the celebration. (Some pics below).

Alas after the joy of that day we had just about recovered when my grandmother in Aus passed away so I had to make an emergency dash to go to the funeral - she had been sick for a long time and was quite old so in someways it was the best thing and it was a bittersweet time seeing the family.

We're so far managing to deal with the credit crunch, though you can never be too sure what around the corner - I've started working in a new pilates studio so we're trying our hardest to get new clients and while it's quiet around now due to Christmas we've pleasantly surprised - and with this experience behind me I may be able to get work in other places too.

So our Christmas this year will be spent with my Australian family in WA - it will be a new experience for Matt to have an Aussie Chrissie but we're looking forward to seeing everyone in happier times and getting some sun.

We're hoping that everyone has a happy 2009 - there's been some highs and lows that I've not been able to mention because they are not our stories although we've been involved in someway. So less of the extremes this time and let's see a new optimistic, but a bit more grounded New Year.

Merry Christmas one and all

Zoë xoxoxoxo

26.2

This year is going quicker than Dwain Chambers on performance enhancing drugs. It's hard to believe that in two weeks my darling husband is going to run the marathon. He's been working so hard to get there and has been dealing with multiple injuries and aches and pains - but thanks to a decent support team (me and the cats, and family and a physio and personal trainer) and a lot of determination he's getting there. And I think will finish it - even if he takes all day.

A work colleague lent him the DVD of "Run Fat Boy Run" which was a bit mean but it did make us laugh and for Matt to realise that it's not about doing it in 4 hours but about achieving something incredible.

Please support him - he's doing it to raise money for the Marsden, but most importantly it's going to be an incredible achievement.

Z xx

The world keeps turning

I was reading Hystersisters the other day and felt very sad about a story of a 22 year old women who has to have surgery for her cancer and she found it hard to tell her parents. Not for the usual reasons but because they are deeply religious and her father does not believe in medical treatment. She has decided to go ahead, knowing it's the right thing for her but also knowing that he may disown her. I can't imagine how she must feel - cancer is isolating enough without being rejected by the people you need the most.

I've been feeling a bit bleurgh this week - not sure why. Perhaps it's something to do with my results - it's all good but I sometimes feel that it's never over. Perhaps it's because I've been reading more stories about more women who are dealing with cancer and all the crap it brings.

I'm disappointed in some of the people on Jo's - not the people I know and trust, but once again there's been bitchiness. Not so much public but it makes me feel sad that people can be so cruel. It's odd how things like that immediately transport you back to school and that feeling of realising that people can be really really nasty.

And of course as much as you want to change the world you realise that you can't change people - they can only change themselves and their own behaviour and they have to acknowledge that first.

Funny too how just typing this has made me feel better - to get it out of my head!!

Z x

Hospital results - good news

Have just got back from the hospital and the news is pretty good – my sehcat scan (the bile absorbency one) was the most normal they’d ever seen, bloods were fine. The polyp they removed was NOT cancerous (phew). I have got low level radiation damage which is the cause of my digestion issues – the not so good news is that I’ll have to watch my fibre intake forever, but can experiment a bit. Am thinking that I’m going to be conservative for a while and perhaps slowly add more fruit and veg, but not risk the pulses and wholegrains in the short/medium term. A bit relief though.

We love Dr Andreyev – you gotta love someone who you can talk to about poo without any hints of that mad Scottish bint called Gillian Mackeith, who really is full of ****.

Z xxx

Marathons, the Marsden and Me

Matt reminded me how long it was since I've written - my mind has been on other things over the last few months which is probably a good thing. Christmas was a blur of cooking and present buying and wrapping and socialising just like it was for everyone else on the planet (who celebrates at that time of year).

I was glad it was over - although I love Christmas I found it particulary exhausting this time around. Still I loved hosting our first proper party in our house and will hopefully make it an annual event. We finished decorating the study which caused chaos but it's well worth it and is a room that is not only organised but a wonderful environment to work, create and study in.

The new year has brought fresh challenges and fresh energy for both me and Matt. He's started his marathon training in earnest (he's raising money for the Marsden which is the best hospital in the world and in need of support since the massive fire that's closed the ward I was in). I'm so proud of him!! We will be prodding people for sponsorship so be warned!! We were also relieved that Matt's company chose to renew his contract for another year - after a scary December when they announced and implemented cut backs.

I'm working really hard on the pilates and getting fitter and am looking forward to possibly having some work as an apprentice in April, as well as getting teaching practise in by teaching Matt and Jayne. I'm pondering whether to delay my exam until I have some more experience under my belt (it won't effect the job and in fact will be benefitted by the work so it's not a cop out!!). I'm really loving it but need to get my confidence up a bit.

But all this hard work means that we're a little anti social as we've both both to be slightly single minded and supportive of each other's efforts! It's lots of early starts and less alcohol!

I'm also trying to get my head around my new diet which is low fibre and of course opposite to anything I'm used to. I'm undergoing lots of tests because I have some issues with my guts which have arisen since radiotherapy. I have a lovely GI consultant who is being very helpful and a dietician who's helping me find the right balance. Things may change when all the tests are in but so far the difference is huge and I'm feeling better - and losing weight. I still have to be wary of the fatigue which can hit me like a train - but I'm working out how to balance being energetic and not overdoing it and am allowing my self rest days.

Finally more good news - my three monthly checkups have been upgraded to 6 months and I'm nearly at the 2 year cancer free mark. It's a fantastic feeling!!

Much love

Z xxxx

Good news!

MRI results were clear which is a big relief. The Marsden are also checking me out for a couple of non cancer related issues (possibly a legacy from treatment). Nothing serious but it's good that they took them seriously - stiffness in my hand joints which is uncomfortable at best and painful at worst and some tummy issues which are probably caused by the radiotherapy.

Z x

Spring forward, fall back

As Autumn shines golden the clocks have gone back and the days are shorter. After the summer of lost hope, there is a sense of relief as the nights draw in. At least we know what we are getting and we can prepare accordingly.

The last few months have been challenging in many ways. My Pilates instructors course has been hard physically and mentally but I'm now ready to start teaching and getting my hours up. I'm hoping to start working and to then take my exam in March. I'm now a business - called Live & Breathe Pilates and will have a web address of www.breathepilates.co.uk but that will take time to come into fruition. The name comes from the fact that the breath is an important principle of pilates, and also that throughout my life people have been telling me to breathe. It reminds me of who I am and how far I've come.

The most challenging thing has been the loss of a couple of dear friends who I met through Jo's Trust and some other inspirational women. It's been incredibly hard to deal with and has resulted in some duvet days and an increase in drug taking (legal ones!!). One was Kayla, who I've mentioned on this blog before. She had had a terribly hard fight and in many ways it was a relief to see her suffering end. But we went to her funeral and it was the hardest thing to do - to see a family left distraught and empty. Another was Marion who had the biggest heart. We had all met up for dinner just after Kayla (and others) died and we celebrated her life and shared tears and laughter. We didn't know then that she had another tumor herself.

At the same time as all of that (and just as my second pilates course finished) we discovered that the CC vaccine has been approved by the government, which means that from next year girls aged 12-18 will get it through the NHS. This is cause for huge celebration and is a wonderful legacy for all to leave behind. The media circus started again and I, and others, were called on to talk to TV, radio and so on. Last week a few of us represented the women from Jo's at a gala dinner to Celebrate Life. It was a wonderful night - highlighted by me getting a kiss from Kenny Logan (Gabby was hosting and Matt and I had a lovely chat with her).

At home we've started to decorate the study. The first real DIY since we moved in and it feels great to be making our home ours. I've been making lots of chutneys and pickles and jam to give as Christmas pressies which has been relaxing and rewarding. The pre-Christmas social whirl has already started which puts the pressure on to get lots of jobs done before december. And of course I'm trying to find PAID work at the moment, though I do have opportunities coming up in the New Year. Fingers crossed.

This afternoon I'm off the Marsden to get the results of my MRI which is just a checkup but still makes me feel nervous and skittish - it's two years since the cancer wagon started moving.

I'll finish with some pictures from our ballooning trip - my birthday present. We were lucky to be able to do it as the weather was so bad, and had one of the most beautiful evenings of the summer.