Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Worm watch and other tails

It's been a weird couple of weeks. I went to see the wonderful Nichola (my nurse specialist) to go through my notes. There were a few things I wanted clarified and I wanted o speak to her about the endometriosis, which kind of got glossed over during the cancer treatment and fertility questions and stuff. And then after that it was irrelevant.

It was so worth seeing her and I'd recommend it for other cancer patients down the line - it's easy to not take everything in. And although most of it doesn't matter it does help to know these things. However I found the bit about the endo very upsetting and have been feeling very sensitive about it since. I know that NOW it doesn't matter, but to find out that after over 20 years of complaining about periods that not only did I have endo, but it was stage IV (the worst stage) is a little hard. Apparently the surgeons were relieved because I was a candiate for the trachelectomy because I would have had a "higher risk of morbidity" had they done the hyst, as well as bowel damage and so on.

I suppose the irony of everything is that it's likely that I already would have been infertile. I know it's easy to say after the fact, but it would have been nice to know. I know I shouldn't dwell on the past but...

The other thing that happened is that one of the girls from Jo's Trust died last week. She was about 27/28 and it was a shock to us all. And Louise's mother died on Sunday - very sad that she didn't make it to see the baby, but I know she just couldn't fight any more. It all puts my pity party into perspective a bit.

A very very sad week for all.

On a cheerier note I recieved my first birthday present today - it's one I'm allowed to open as it's a wormery for composting scraps and contains live worms that need looking after, so I've been having fun putting it together. I've been so excited about it - thanks Lyn and Derek - as it's really the only thing I wanted (sad aren't I!)

Z xx