You must all think I'm mad getting so worked up about a check up, but it's odd as my brain knows rationally that everything is probably ok but my body reacts differently - it's a physical thing and it's always worse at this time of year because it's also the anniversary of my chemoradiation and my body reacts to that before I remember.
This time was worse as I have a lump under my left boob. It's huge and moves and is uncomfortable if I wear a sports bra. Any how they do think I should have it removed but don't think it's anything sinister so will have to wait for a referral and everything else is fine.
So am very relieved. I've seen so many people have recurrences over the years and have lost some dear friends and I think that although I feel fine (good actually) it's in the back of my head that I was feeling ok (apart from being really tired) before my diagnosis.
Still feel a bit better after a chat and cake with my mum. It's a good tradition.