Wednesday, March 22, 2006

That's my final radiation DONE DONE DONE!

Tummy's a bit sore, but I celebrated today with a good old british bacon buttie (have been on a low fat diet during all of this). Am so happy, though a little tired and battered.

Appointment with the consultant in 4 weeks. But saw the nurse today and apparently my bloods look really good and my haemoglobin levels are better than they expected at this stage (whatever that means)!

Oh, and the nasty nurse actually apologised to me! :)

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Well, Chemo has finished and I only have three radiation zaps to go - I feel like I can see the finish line now. Last week's chemo was the worst, it was quite painful as the fluid went in and I'd get a shot of pain whenever it was restarted. And soon I'll be on less drugs and my sense will slowly return. I've been listening a lot to Johnny Cash and one of his songs, Hurt, has a resonance to me - it's about addiction, but it has parallels with the feeling that all the chemicals in my blood make me feel. It's a strange place to be in, when feeling pain makes you feel alive.

But it's going to be up from here on in and that's a good thing. I can start planning for our future and have some projects to look forward to at work and home and a holiday to organise. I'm taking things easy though - everything in baby steps and my priority now is to get strong physically and give my mind a rest or a different challenge. It's not over by anymeans - it's going to be a slow journey, but slow's not a bad thing sometimes, as it lets you take notice of the things around you.

Again, thank you all for your support and love over the last few months. It's helped me stay strong.

Z xxx