Thursday, November 08, 2007

Good news!

MRI results were clear which is a big relief. The Marsden are also checking me out for a couple of non cancer related issues (possibly a legacy from treatment). Nothing serious but it's good that they took them seriously - stiffness in my hand joints which is uncomfortable at best and painful at worst and some tummy issues which are probably caused by the radiotherapy.

Z x

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Spring forward, fall back

As Autumn shines golden the clocks have gone back and the days are shorter. After the summer of lost hope, there is a sense of relief as the nights draw in. At least we know what we are getting and we can prepare accordingly.

The last few months have been challenging in many ways. My Pilates instructors course has been hard physically and mentally but I'm now ready to start teaching and getting my hours up. I'm hoping to start working and to then take my exam in March. I'm now a business - called Live & Breathe Pilates and will have a web address of but that will take time to come into fruition. The name comes from the fact that the breath is an important principle of pilates, and also that throughout my life people have been telling me to breathe. It reminds me of who I am and how far I've come.

The most challenging thing has been the loss of a couple of dear friends who I met through Jo's Trust and some other inspirational women. It's been incredibly hard to deal with and has resulted in some duvet days and an increase in drug taking (legal ones!!). One was Kayla, who I've mentioned on this blog before. She had had a terribly hard fight and in many ways it was a relief to see her suffering end. But we went to her funeral and it was the hardest thing to do - to see a family left distraught and empty. Another was Marion who had the biggest heart. We had all met up for dinner just after Kayla (and others) died and we celebrated her life and shared tears and laughter. We didn't know then that she had another tumor herself.

At the same time as all of that (and just as my second pilates course finished) we discovered that the CC vaccine has been approved by the government, which means that from next year girls aged 12-18 will get it through the NHS. This is cause for huge celebration and is a wonderful legacy for all to leave behind. The media circus started again and I, and others, were called on to talk to TV, radio and so on. Last week a few of us represented the women from Jo's at a gala dinner to Celebrate Life. It was a wonderful night - highlighted by me getting a kiss from Kenny Logan (Gabby was hosting and Matt and I had a lovely chat with her).

At home we've started to decorate the study. The first real DIY since we moved in and it feels great to be making our home ours. I've been making lots of chutneys and pickles and jam to give as Christmas pressies which has been relaxing and rewarding. The pre-Christmas social whirl has already started which puts the pressure on to get lots of jobs done before december. And of course I'm trying to find PAID work at the moment, though I do have opportunities coming up in the New Year. Fingers crossed.

This afternoon I'm off the Marsden to get the results of my MRI which is just a checkup but still makes me feel nervous and skittish - it's two years since the cancer wagon started moving.

I'll finish with some pictures from our ballooning trip - my birthday present. We were lucky to be able to do it as the weather was so bad, and had one of the most beautiful evenings of the summer.