I think the last few days have been the most emotional. It's hard to put into words the feelings that we have both been feeling. Apart from being exhausted! But it's been a mixture of delight and terror and sadness and joy.
On Sunday Poppet visited with her FCs - they stayed for tea and biscuits and this gave us an opportunity to introduce her to the cats for the first time. Blue, who is the most sociable, was the perfect choice to start with and he came in voluntarily. Berry stayed out of the way and went into a bit of a sulk. We showed how to stroke him gently and all went well. She wanted to see the house and explored a bit. After a couple of hours they went home.
Monday came and they drove her to us (as well as most of her toys). This time they didn't stay long, but left her so we were able to spend more time getting used to the new house, playing with her toys and the garden and terrorising the cats. We had our first "at home" meals and a nap in her new cot. The nap did not result in much sleep but she played happy and chatted away to herself. Although this was good in a sense, it also shows that she is almost too self sufficient - that she was used to being left on her own when she was with her mum in the mother and baby unit. After dinner we all got in the car and she tried out the new car seat which she seem to get used to quickly.
We took her back to the FCs and put her to bed. We stayed at Fawlty Towers again - this time in a better room as they were less busy. We ate there and no, we didn't have the Wardolf Salad, but actually surprisingly nice food. Both of us crashed out. I woke in the wee small hours having an anxiety attack - I have had them before, but not for a while. I managed to get back to sleep but in the morning I felt teary and stressed. It was all starting to feel more real. But also it has stirred all sorts of emotions - about my fertility, about me as a woman and a person. It's exciting but daunting and a huge responsibility.
That day we went to the FCs and had a meeting with the SWs (this involves a cast of 1000s). It was great to hear the FCs say that they felt that things were going well and all of a sudden it was agreed that we could bring her home for good on Wednesday. And signed and sealed! Eeek!
As her last part time day with us, we took her home to a house full of plastic toys (gah, some age appropriate and some not so much. Unfortunately she has a lot of things that had been given to her by her birth family, which are not wonderful- like the toy buggy which is designed for a much older child. She loves it though and we did laugh a lot when Blue decided that it was the perfect bed for him and he climbed into it.
Another long drive back to the FCs and then home this time. Was weird to this that this was the last night in the house just the two of us humans.
More about bringing her home for good soon
Z x
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