A right? Or a privilege?

So Natallie Evans has lost her appeal to use the embryos that she and her ex partner created when she was going through cancer treatment. This story has been one that triggers mixed emotions for me, not least because it was making headlines last year just after we'd made the decision not to try freezing embryos.

It's not that I didn't want to become a mother, because it's what I've wanted for most of my life, but it was because the odds were so against us and the mental and physical toll on us was going to be too much, especially just before treatment. I still find it very hard to deal with - most days I'm fine, but I still have times where it's a hard thing to realise that you'll never have children that look like you.

But parenthood is more than just genetics and I think that should never be forgotten. It's a commitment. I feel for the ex partner who did not want to be forced to be a parent - and most particularly it was evident to me that he did not want to have children with her. It's a very harsh decision, but at the same time, he SHOULD have a say. Natallie said it's her right to have children - but it's not. Having children is a privilege and one that we take for granted to much I think. It's hardest for me when I see women who use their fertility as a statement - that don't think of the child and their life. Or those who take things for granted. I wish more women would see how lucky they are to have that chance, that they are blessed and have been granted a huge responsibility.

We may still adopt when we can. It's a scary prospect because of the responsibility that comes with it - but I think it would be a wonderful thing to give love and hope and opportunity to someone who needs it so much.

On the one hand, I understand that feeling of utter despair and grief that Natallie feels, but you can't be selfish about parenthood. To do that you're missing the point - in the end it's not about YOU, it's about creating a person and all that comes with it. I hope that Natallie can see that if she wants to be a parent she still has time. I suspect though that her need to have her own child has blinded her to other options.